Best Friend Billionaire Page 18

  “Oh, unless you fall in love with that darling Parker, of course,” she smirked. “I’m still betting on that.”

  I also couldn’t talk about Parker with her because she refused to accept that we were nothing but friends, so I rolled my eyes and stomped into the kitchen to cook some dinner for use both. I ate mine next to Mom, who didn’t eat a thing. We barely talked during that time; we fixed our attention on the bad sci-fi movie on the TV instead. It felt easier to lose ourselves in some escapism rather than face what was really going on. It wasn’t until I got up to sleep that we had anything like a serious conversation again.

  “Do you need help up to bed, Mom? I’m on my way now.” I stretched out my arms. “I’m shattered.”

  “Oh, no thank you. I’m fine down here.” She smiled, but her tone was serious. “And I love you, Madison. I hope you know that. I love you so much, and I appreciate everything that you’ve done for me. You’re my star.”

  “I love you too, Mom,” was the last thing I said before I turned and walked away from her.

  What I really should have done was stayed with her, held her all night long, and let her really know that I loved her. I regretted that so much for a long time afterward. It was the one regret I hadn’t really recovered from ever actually. I could so clearly see myself walking away, pulling away when Mom needed me the most.

  The next morning, I found her still lying on the couch, cold as ice. Just as she had been all night long.

  Everything that came after was a blur. I must have organized the funeral because it happened, but I couldn’t recall even a single moment of it. I also couldn’t remember packing up to move out, the house sale, I had no real recollection of everything turning upside down and changing. It all sort of just happened. The only constant I had through all of it was the boy who didn’t hesitate to let me cry on his shoulder. He had always been my rock, and that didn’t change now. He sat silently while I sobbed and wailed, while I completely fell apart. He was everything that I needed him to be then, and more. I couldn’t have coped without him, but now as I needed him again, he was acting totally different. Was that because it had happened to me or because we were more than friends now?

  I yearned for that boy with the shoulder, I needed that comfort, I wanted him to be the person who wouldn’t freak out and act like my days were numbered. He would have been the perfect person to go through this with. If he was like this already, then how would he survive the aftermath... if it came to that? I couldn’t let him. He wouldn’t be able to do it. This was hurdle one, not even one that confirmed any illness at all, and he was a state.

  Plus, there wasn’t any point in wishing for someone who wasn’t coming back. I’d walked away from Parker now; a choice had been made. I guess I was about to start isolating people because I didn’t want others to suffer. Yes, Mom had me around while she went through it, but she could have done it alone. Just like I would.

  Determination surged through me as a bus pulled up, and I hopped onto it to take me home. The further away from Parker I got, the better I felt. He had been good to me, and just like I didn’t deserve to lose Mom, he didn’t deserve to watch a girlfriend die. He always had plenty of female attention anyway; it wouldn’t be long until he moved on...

  Okay, so that much wasn’t true. I couldn’t pull that lie off even with myself. Parker wasn’t like that. Plus, I didn’t really like the way thinking of him with another woman made me feel. It was all well and good to be the bigger person and want him to be happy, but I didn’t need to really consider what that meant. I sure as hell did not need to think about him with the stunning women he usually chose, the ones with beauty and no heart. That didn’t do anything for my already very low confidence. God, I hoped he didn’t make me see it...

  I stared out the bus window as I made my way back home, really feeling like I’d done the right thing. It didn’t have to feel good right now; it was better for us to get some much-needed separation. In the long run, I hoped that would become much more obvious. I wanted even Parker to understand that I only had his best interests there. His feelings were at the center of my choices, even if they seemed like they only came out in a fit of anger.

  It was a little crazy now to recall that Mom’s last request was for me to fall in love with Parker. I’d only just come to realize he was the man for me, just as it was possibly too late. It was almost as if fate had intervened and I could have that one last piece of happiness before I couldn’t anymore. A bit of love with Parker before I ceased to exist.

  Urgh, you’re so morbid, I shook my head and tried to straighten up. Talk about acting like I’m near to death! My behavior is about a million times worse than Parkers. I need to stop this before I crumble.

  A positive mental attitude could help me. Much more than a negative one. If only I could get myself to that place. I had to hope that the results would come in sooner rather than later. I wasn’t sure I could do another week.

  Chapter 31 – Parker

  Monday

  I couldn’t even lift my eyes from the ground as I made my way to Buster’s office, I hadn’t ever felt this crappy in my entire life. Madison would not speak to me no matter what I did, and I couldn’t work out how to make things right again. I needed to speak to my best friend to get his advice. Only he could truly understand.

  Walking through the door, I almost let all of my problems fall out of my mouth, but luckily, I stopped myself just in time. I managed to drag my eyes up long enough to see a beautiful red-haired woman wrapped around Buster. She had such striking good looks that she actually took my breath away. This had to be Lola. The famous girlfriend. I could see now how she had managed to tame my untamable friend... she was beautiful.

  “Oh... sorry, I didn’t realize that you had company. I’ll just come back in a minute.”

  “No, no, stay in.” Buster chuckled. “It’s time you met Lola anyway. I’ve kept you apart for far too long.”

  Much as I wanted to get to know Lola, this really didn’t feel like the time. My heart churned and ached, my stomach felt sick, my head spun wildly, I just wanted to speak to Buster, but I had to be polite.

  “Yes, Buster has been hiding me.” Lola held out a hand to me, as graceful and elegant as a swan to shake mine. “I was starting to think that he might be embarrassed by me and I’m not sure why.”

  “Embarrassed? No way!” Buster shoved his hands awkwardly into his pockets. “I’m just... I don’t know...”

  “I know, I know.” Lola rolled her eyes dramatically. “You’re scared of commitment, I’m aware.”

  “It’s lovely to meet you, Lola,” I jumped in before this turned into an argument. “You’ve made my friend very happy, and I’ve been looking forward to getting to know you. You’ve got a hard job dealing with him there.”

  She tossed her head back and laughed, showing me a really friendly side to her. She was a nice woman; it was clear that she was good for Buster. Immediately, I couldn’t help but like her. She seemed sweet.

  “Well, I think we should all go out for dinner sometime. Me, Buster, you, and your girl. What’s her name?”

  “Maddie,” I rasped out thorough the thick bitter pill that lodged in my throat. I didn’t want to admit to Lola that she might not be might girl anymore; it was embarrassing how badly I’d screwed things up... but the message must have gotten across anyway because the atmosphere in the room changed very quickly.

  “Well, I think I’m going to go, Buster,” Lola said quickly, turning to face her boyfriend instead of me. “I have lots to do today; work calls! I’ll see you later, okay?” She kissed him rapidly. “Bye, sweetheart.”

  As she left, closing the door loudly behind her, my sadness felt even more intensified. Seeing Buster having it all together, not saying the wrong thing at every twist and turn, was almost too much to bear.

  “Sorry If I seem like a bit of a miserable fucker,” I addressed it quickly. “Things are a bit shit at the moment.”

  “Yeah, I can tell.” Bu
ster nodded slowly. “Do you want to talk about it?” I didn’t answer right away, which caused him to continue. “Or did you want to get out of here? We could go to the golf course.”

  “Yeah, you know what, that’s a good idea.” Fresh air sounded amazing. “Let’s get out of here. Are you sure you don’t have more important things to be doing? Work, investments, or whatever?”

  “Nah, I’m actually pretty much on top of things.” I got the impression that he might have been lying and that he would be putting in a couple of late nights to compensate for this, but I appreciated it. “Come on; I’ll drive.”

  We remained in silence as we drove over to the golf course, I was too lost in my thoughts to speak. I had clearly done something very wrong when it came to Maddie, and I wasn’t totally sure what. Every time I thought it through I still couldn’t work out the moment where things had changed. She snapped and yelled at me, told me to leave her alone, and I had no real idea why. At first, I tried to assume that it was just the hard time that she’d gone through, but since she hadn’t spoken to me since, I had to really think it was me. She’d had more than enough time to calm down, and she hadn’t. I had done something to make her hate me.

  “Right, dude,” Buster said with a sigh as he pulled up the car in the parking lot. “You need to tell me what the hell is going on here. You’re clearly in a terrible place, and I need to know why. We can’t have a nice day if you’re going to have a face like a smacked ass all day long. Not being mean, but I’d much rather know.”

  I sighed loudly and let some of it loose; it had been building up ever since Maddie left, so it felt good to let it free. “I’ve fucked things up with Madison, really badly.” I held up my cell phone to highlight my point. “She won’t speak to me and I don’t know how to make things right. Everything I do is wrong.”

  “Well, she is going through a hard time at the moment...” Buster tried to see it from Maddie’s point of view.

  “I know, and I’ve tried my hardest to be understanding about that. I really have. I keep trying to keep her busy to take her mind off of things, but that seems to send her off the rails as well...”

  “What did you do? Are you trying to fill her every moment with activity? Because if you are, then you’re treating her like she’s dying, which isn’t going to help, especially if she doesn’t have the results yet.”

  I gave Buster a wide-eyed shocked look. It was almost as if he’d climbed right into Maddie’s brain and he saw exactly what she said to me. I didn’t understand what she meant when she yelled it at me, but with Buster putting it across in such simple terms it seemed completely obvious. I was acting like this was the end for her.

  “You really think so?” I gushed, still shocked. “What should I be doing instead? How can I make this right?”

  Buster sighed and shook his head. “I don’t know, honestly. Having never experienced anything like Maddie is right now, I don’t know what to think. I suppose everyone reacts in different ways, and she needs space.”

  My heart sunk in my chest. I didn’t like the idea of leaving her alone even more. I wanted Buster to tell me to rush to her side, to tell her that I’ll do whatever she needs, that I can be her support if she needs.

  “Space? So, you think I should just leave her be? Not talk to her and promise I’ll be different.”

  “No, if she isn’t speaking to you then you need to give her time. Just try and keep away.”

  “It’s hard though,” I confessed. “It’s really difficult. Before we got together, we were friends. We’ve been friends forever. I haven’t gone for such a long time without speaking to her in ages. It’s so hard.”

  That sensation clutched in my chest once more, the one where I wasn’t totally sure if I’d done the right thing by allowing us to transform from friends into something more. I loved her, and I knew that’ when things were good, it felt amazing, but at times, when it wasn’t right, I had a lot of doubt. I just didn’t want to lose her.

  “Look, you do know Maddie better than me, I’ll give you that, and if you think it’ll be okay for you to keep pushing then do, but just remember, this isn’t the normal Madison; this is her going through a hard time.”

  I nodded, accepting that fully. I did understand, I knew that much, but it still really hurt. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I should at least give her today.” I stuffed my cell phone into Buster’s glove compartment so I couldn’t keep checking it all the time and I could just relax. “Okay, I’m done. Let’s go and play golf. I need to win.”

  “Just because you’re going through a hard time, doesn’t mean I’m going to go easy on you.” Buster laughed loudly as he slid out of the car. “I need to keep my winning streak going. I refuse to sacrifice it, okay?”

  This was exactly what I needed, some time out in the sun, a break away from my problems. Buster was right; golf was perfect... especially if I went on the kick his ass, which I aimed to.

  ALL THE GOOD FEELING I’d experienced all day long zapped from my body as I got into my home all by myself. I was okay with Buster; when he was teasing me and making me laugh, I loved the distraction. I needed that. I suppose that was what I wanted to do for Madison as well. I wanted to keep her mind off her problems by keeping her busy. But I suppose, just because I needed that, didn’t make her the same. She had her own requirements, and I hadn’t really respected that. I didn’t mean to treat her like she was dying, that wasn’t my intention.

  I sighed and flopped down onto the couch, before grabbing my cell phone and staring at it again. Still, the screen had nothing on it. It was pure torture; did she know what she was doing to me? Did she even care?

  No, probably not if she was suffering her own issues. God damn it, why did I have to be so selfish all the time? It wasn’t right. I needed to drag my head right out of my ass and start thinking about her needs.

  I dropped my phone on the table and flicked the TV to life, hoping I’d be able to find some old western movie or an action flick to keep my mind off of things, but of course, there was nothing. Every person on the screen reminded me of her, everything happening, reminded me of my situation, I was a man obsessed.

  I needed to text her, just the once, just to let Maddie know that I was thinking about her. She would probably ignore it again, but I had to keep on trying. I wished that I could be the person to take Buster’s advice but my impatience and desperation won out. I had to reach out, like I was out of control.

  ‘Hi, Maddie, I just wanted to let you know that I’m sorry, again. I hope work has been okay. I just want you to know that I’m thinking of you, and if you need anything, I’m here. Parker xxx’

  I waited for a couple of moments to see if something would come back but as I expected, it didn’t. At least not for a while, but after about five long and agonizing minutes, the screen lit up gloriously.

  ‘Thank you. I’m okay. I’ll speak to you soon.’

  It was short, simple, and not very sweet, but I loved it. I enjoyed reading and re-reading the words over and over again because it was communication. Anything from Maddie was better than nothing, it led to hope, and I really needed that. Now, I could go to sleep happy knowing that eventually, we could go back soon. If not to a relationship then at least to a friendship.

  Now leave it, I scolded myself. Leave her be, let her get in touch with you.

  Chapter 32 – Madison

  Tuesday

  Ring, ring... ring, ring... ring, ring...

  “Huh?” I bolted upright in bed as the ringing sound grew louder and more insistent. At first, I thought it was just a part of the odd dream I was having where my body kept trying to float through space, but a heavy meteor was weighing me down. How ringing fit into that, I wasn’t sure, but that was my subconscious mind for you!

  I darted out of bed and flew across the room as if it was an alarm alerting me to something. It took me a while to realize actually it was only my phone, and it was just a call. Probably Parker again. Much as I adored him, he was the last perso
n I needed to see right now. He just couldn’t get it, he didn’t understand what I needed, and for that reason, I just had to keep me at arm’s length for a while. Just until I knew for sure. I sent him one text message last night to placate him, just to get him off my back, but judging by this it hadn’t worked at all.

  “Oh,” I muttered to myself as I saw a different number on the screen completely. One that I didn’t recognize. “Right.” I lifted the phone up to my ear and pressed the answer button. “Hello?”

  “Is this Madison Avia?” came the curt reply from what sounded like a receptionist.

  “Erm...” My heart thundered anxiously in my chest, I started to fear what would come next. “Yes, it is.”

  “The doctor has asked me to call you for you to come and see him today at ten...”

  She gave me more information, I could hear her talking, but her words had taken on much more of a wah-wah-waah quality. I couldn’t pick any of them out however hard I tried. This was the call that I’d been waiting for, the moment I’d been hanging on in hope of happening. I couldn’t believe that it had happened. Finally. It was a relief and a bolt of terror all in one go. I wasn’t exactly sure how to feel.

  “R... right,” I finally just about managed to stammer back. “Yes, I will be there.”

  I hung up the phone, barely worrying if it was the right time to do so. Rudeness didn’t really come into it when my life was a stake. Maybe afterward I could find out who’d called me to apologize, but for now, I just needed to focus on myself. I needed to steel myself, to prepare for what was to come. One way or another, whatever the outcome, I would know. I could step off the ledge and work out what my next move would be.